You've got more chance of Lord Lucan riding in here on Shergar. Id like some wings and a pint of beer, please, he says. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime. Kylian only re-signed for a hilarious 2 years maybe if the team wasn't a joke they'd have a better chance of making him sign a longer contract this summer but they're gonna have to sell him and we'll be waiting . You've got more chance breaking bedrock with a wooden pickaxe, Illusion1st You've got more chance finding a girl that won't laugh at the size of your junk, No way could you do that. This is the Internal Revenue Service. You could read it as "seriously" or as "a joke didn't walk into the . Shoot! she screamed to her husband. There's a chance, albeit slight, that southern and central Louisiana will see at least a dusting of the rarely-seen winter treat on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Besides, we got soaking wet., How come? asked a friend. | 27/09/2020 You've got more chance of using that expired condom you keep in your wallet 'just incase', No way could you do that. I have a fear of elevators, but I've started taking steps to avoid it. We stand a better chance with aristocracy, whether hereditary or elective, than with monarchy. 4. Pick a hot place 3. If you can qualify on the pole or in the front, you have a better chance of getting five points for leading a lap or leading the most laps. The assistant raises his head, turns to face the gambler, and says: "I'm afraid I can't accept that wager, sir. Everyone knows that poles in the right half-plane are unstable. So, too, with your sense of humour: while you might be too cool for a knock-knock or a two-line pun in your teens or early twenties, something happens when you turn 30+ (or sooner if you have kids!). You've got more chance You got more chance of a rocking horse havin a shit. First, let her think shes having her way. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients. My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. Second, let her have it.Lyndon B. Johnson,The New York Times, Phoning a patient, the doctor says, I have some bad news and some worse news. | Meaning, pronunciation, translations and examples When my brother began his psychiatric practice, his first patient was a particularly good-looking young woman. Turn off my electric blanket.. Found the internet! I study pitchers. I became a professional fisherman but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income. I think that's the most important thing. A girl would spin the bottle, and if the bottle pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a nickel. Work stuffs up your eyesight 1. It's a giraffe.". He ran smack into her, knocking a cup of coffee out of her hand and onto the floor. Some people might consider them lame; others just don't get them at all. 476 - Ellen . The man nods. We recommend our users to update the browser. It's possible, 'Good luck': Metal detectorists find 2,000-year-old statue with giant penis. Yeah, they got him on possession. 27 Feb 2023 18:03:02 Dangerously cold temperatures are likely toward . Sara Blakely. I heard thi s for the very first time when I was on a bus in Disney World over seven years ago, and it changed my life forever because it sparked my undying love for corny jokes. So all three mathematicians jump up and run into the lavatory with their one ticket. What's the difference between an introverted and an extroverted engineer? Shoot!, I cant! he shouted back. No way could you do that. When a co-worker asked him how he liked them, he replied thoughtfully, Well, theyre the most comfortable shoes Ive ever worn but I do have one unusual problem with them. ", The management students answered, "Not found on the internet! Einstein volunteered to go first. More posts you may like. ", The group fell silent for a moment. These are some truly fucked up jokes. | 21/09/2019 The physicist goes first. Always laugh heartily at the jokes your boss tells, it maybe a loyalty test. I visualize pitches. You've got more chance Of seeing a fish ride a pushbike. Your Megaphore has been submitted. Even though I have a better chance of getting hurt walking outside and falling down the stairs, if I had gotten injured on the racetrack, people would be going, 'What is this guy doing?' |, No way could you do that. ", The medical students answered, "This is a joke, right? Two of them and you forget what your Namath. Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? All cats are animals 3. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around. GetReaders DigestsRead Up newsletterfor humor, cleaning, travel, tech and fun facts all week long. Sorry, but I cant serve you, the bartender replies. When Einstein opened his eyes, he of course saw Newton and with a bit of disappointment said I found you, Newton, you lose but Newton replied, On the contrary, you are looking at one Newton over a square meter Pascal loses!. I have never been so wrong in my life. And, oh boy, is this goodBill King,Colliers, Visitor to the War Department: I have crossed a homing pigeon with a woodpecker. You've got more chance Fucking a dead nun. Life begins on Friday. Few people know what a quartermaster does. They cant see us from there., A young mother paying a visit to her doctor in Providence, Rhode Island, made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining treatment room. "Communication is the foundation of a good relationship." (Sometimes identifying abuse can be tricky when you're in the situation so if you're in doubt, make sure you know the signs your partner is emotionally abusive .) And the engineer? Ive been wanting to do that to some of your friends for the last 20 years., A bird in the hand is bad table manners. After finishing our Chinese food, my husband and I cracked open our fortune cookies. | 31/12/2015 But when they got home, the kids expressed disappointment. What was David Bowie's last hit? An Im-pasta! It all happened so fast.Debby Carter. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? I am now prepared for yesterday.James Flansburg, Des Moines Register, One day a man showed up at the office wearing a pair of new shoes made of turtle skin. Just look at all the joints! If your car is stolen, there's a 10 percent chance it was taken by a Polar bear 1. I'm sorry to hear that. 2. Me: I quit. "Shallow men believe in luck or in circumstance. A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections. Here's the thing: the unit of reverence in Europe is the family, which is why a child born today of unmarried parents in Sweden has a better chance of growing up in a house with both of his parents than a child born to a married couple in America. I'll miss all the pasta he made. Hmm, says the physicist, You mean that some Scottish sheep are black. What do you do if your wife starts smoking? Chance Quotes. Then he saw the straw hat come back, upstream past the house! Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections. One mid-October evening, I answered a knock on the door. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. ", RELATED:TOP 10 THINGS ONLY ENGINEERS UNDERSTAND. We dont serve breakfast., RELATED: 80 Funniest What Do You Call? Jokes. I am also a fan of crit rate. But I never expected to be picked in the first round. If I went to a lady of the night, I'd probably pay her to tell me jokes. Award-winning artist and engineer Dan Morrison talks to us about the design process of his whimsical and functional statement pieces. 3. r/CynoMains. I didnt want to go, because Ive put on, like, a hundred pounds. Wendy Leibman, RELATED: The Best 100 Funny Movies of All Time. Two mixing chambers are working in a factory, one says to the other "You are so efficient! The bartender yells out. I want a kick to my band, but I don't want the rhythm to hog the spotlight. And that's wrong. No, really, she insisted. I was visiting my son the other night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. We cant outrun that bear, even with jogging shoes., Who cares about the bear? the first hiker replied. The man turns around: "It's not a lion. I don't know how to tell jokes. Lissa Snyder, Boys definition of a waffle: A pancake with a nonskid tread.American Boy, Pastor: Good morning, May. They are given anything they want to measure it and have all the time they need. Me: Would you like bacon and eggs for breakfast? | 20/11/2020 A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. That doesn't mean I'm going to get a hit every game, but that's one of the reasons I've come a long way as a hitter. The best ideas come as jokes. "It's hard to believe in coincidence, but it's even harder to believe in anything else.". You want a good one even more if you get a bad one. You've got more chance of working for ALTICE and getting a raise. I keep telling them its for you., A grasshopper walks into a bar. robertbosch.es. We have created a collection of some of the best better-chance quotes so you can read and share anytime with your friends and family. As I sat there enjoying a piano recording, I overheard an elderly lady say to her companion, Just like these young doctorsa crowded waiting room, and hes in there playing the piano!June Iveson, At our weekly alumni meetings, the football coach shows the film of the most recent game and holds a question-and-answer period afterward. The more we can do to create a better society, that benefits more people, the better chance we have that our society will continue to grow and prosper. ", The engineering students answered, "That's easy, it's F(IV)E!". All bottled up. They were getting a little ANSI. A: Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner. ", Now, I'd say "I'm pretty sure it's 2, but we'd better make it 3 just to be safe.". | 21/09/2019 Whats the bad news?. In racing, we have a better chance of it happening quicker because we have attracted good people to come to work for us. | 11/11/2019 You've got more chance of getting through customs with your friend Umbawaloo without being stopped, No way could you do that. Nothing looks good on me anymore, wailed a customer modeling an outfit in front of the department stores mirror. One of the bikers extinguishes his cigarette in the old guys pancakes. But finally an extra-loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, I hope, doctor, you dont mind Billy being in your examining room., No, said the doctor calmly. One says, Have you heard about the mad cow disease thats going around?, Yeah, the other cow says. (4pc GD) 1 / 2. Dont lean back in your chair. Just when I finally got my husband squared away, the kids came along. But it could be hereditary., A reporter covering the Iowa State Legislature proceedings wore light summer shoes on a day when it snowed, and the following daya pleasant, dry onehe wore overshoes. No way could you do that. If you need some more material or just need to brighten up your day, here are 25 of the best engineering jokes from across the web. Therefore, all dogs are cats 1. One good laughor better still, a workplace culture that encourages levityfacilitates interpersonal communication and builds social cohesion. A syndicate is a group that has gotten together to pool their money so they can cover more contingencies. The higher the floor, the better the husband. One youngster laboriously printed: Do one to others as others do one to you.Lee Olson, TheDenver Post. Every year, he said. Me: I don't know when to quit. The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. Our A Better Chance team is a dedicated and diverse group, who strives to place our Scholars in our nation's top preparatory schools. ", Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. As the conductor starts walkingthrough the train car, the engineers all rush off and jump into the small lavatory. So when you put on that jersey, everything else is downhill. We both said thank you and as he stands up, I realize it's THE Martin Short !! February 28, 2023, 11:18 AM. You've got more chance of getting a blowy off the Queen! Nuffin. Change is the law of God's mind and resistance to it is the source of all pain. You've got more chance Shaving a bobcat in a phone booth. The more I pay attention to what's going on inside, the more I realize that how I feel, and how I react to what I feel, really creates my reality. | 07/02/2023 Absolutely hilarious better chance of jokes! Without a word of protest, the old guy pays his bill and leaves. The prevailing view was that girls were outside of school because of the resistance of families to their education. 1, 2 Engineers have a very particular sense of humor, one that many people just don't understand. Use your napkin. We celebrate diversity and are committed to creating an inclusive environment for all employees. Theres a drink named Stan?. ", The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefit's package. | 03/05/2022 Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through the recreational area?". BrainyQuote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Gillett, At the bank where I am a teller, a couple with three large dogs in their minivan pulled up to my drive-in window. A Better Chance offers a dynamic team environment of talented, smart and passionate professionals. A Bar Mitzvah is the time in his life when a Jewish boy realizes he has a better chance of owning a team than playing for one. This week marked a dramatic shift in Johnny Depp's trial against Amber Heard. Im not sure, said his friend, but I think shes cramming for her finals.. You've got more chance watching Robert Kubica winning the Bahrain Grand Prix, B Ecclestone Youre going to let him get away with this, God?, The minister took his first shot. Youre all invited to the wedding, he told the congregation. Did the boat leak?. Sep 2012 - Present10 years 6 months. [.] A single agency responsible for systemic risk would be accountable in a way that no regulator was in the run-up to the 2008 crisis. The engineer responded briefly: One chalk mark $1; Knowing where to put it $49,999. Jokes are better than war. Two antennas got married the wedding was lousy, but the reception was outstanding. Most patients ha ve a better chance of b eing treated if. You've got more chance taking on 300 Spartans with nothing but a spoon. A traveling salesman, caught in a torrential rainstorm, stopped overnight at a farmhouse. You've got more chance Shoving cooked spaghetti up a mountain lion's ass. |, No way could you do that. Better chance definition: Better is the comparative of good . the shepherd who drove his sheep through town and was given a ticket for making a ewe turn? Press J to jump to the feed. Dear Math, it's time to grow up and solve your own problems. Nonsense, maam, soothed the salesclerk. You've got more chance of bowling a perfect 300 game with a satsuma. You've got more chance of finding Madeleine Mccann alive. Time to be a hero and rescue some wine from a bottle. I learned that instead of relying on and imitating American music, there is a better chance for an Asian artist to succeed if he or she follows his or her own culture. And have we got some great dirty jokes for you. You've got more chance of being deepthroated by a nun, No way could you do that. Why did the sperm cross the road? (KU Language Centre) . He looked at me quizzically at first and then hit upon the obvious answer. As he stood by watching her clean up the mess, she glanced up at the boy and said, Look, why dont you go and play outside?, Rushing up to a large airlines ticket counter, a man gasped, Miss, please help me. In the morning, he looked out on a flood coursing through the front yard. The third biker dumps the whole plate onto the floor. I have to get to Chicago in the worst way!, The clerk calmly pointed to her left and said, Sir, that would be the airline next to us.. And the more in touch I can be, the better chance I have to control what's happening in my life. Next, check out another 100 things turning 100 in 2022. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The notice came back with the laconic scrawl: Sos Hiram.Theodore Rubin. Makes me glad Im a penguin., Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire. Hi, Mom, she said, taking a look at the dresser. | 23/05/2022 2. You know, we're not just automatons learning how to work machines and do engineering and math and science. |, No way could you do that. If the woman wanted better qualities, they would simply go to the next floor. Theyre appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings. Who's on top of the world right now heading into the . You've got more chance Meeting a Richard Simmons Jr. No way could you do that. This also makes your timing look awesome. They had heard a lot about the Tunnel of Love and were especially anxious to try it out. "The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.". Once this was completed, he sat down neatly inside the box and waited for Einstein to finish counting. It was a heady feeling! Why do you suppose your grandmother reads the Bible so much? he asked. Dad, this is the 21st century, he said. A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. The mathematician pulls out a measuring tape and records the circumference. Quotes & Jokes about Change. The engineers have one between them. Two hikers were walking through the woods when they suddenly confronted a giant bear. Every time a little boy went to a playmates house, he found the friends grandmother deeply engrossed in her Bible. If you have a diverse workforce, then you have a much better chance of picking up on things that a lack of diversity would hide from them. No, says the mathematician, All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotlandand that at least one side of that one sheep is black!. "Hey, you can't leave that lyin' there!". It's not that I'm scared. No way could you do that. A <1>'s chance in <2>. What if the best candidates are in there?, You have a point, he said. You've got more chance Of Helen Keller finding Waldo, Lil Chucky P. Once you get that first shot, that will get you noticed for the rest of your books and that will give the rest of your books a better chance. Interviewer: You're hired. I was still trying to figure out the miraculous warmth when his reply came. If you understand gender differences in what I call 'conversational style', you may not be able to prevent disagreements from arising, but you stand a better chance of preventing them from spiraling out of control. No way could you do that. Showing search results for "I Have A Better Chance To Jokes" sorted by relevance. I hear God has seen fit to send you little twin brothers., Little May: Yes sir, and He knows where the moneys coming from, too. Theres one sentence in particular that I like., The one where you write, The only way other than abstinence to be sure that you will not contract an STD is to remain in a monotonous relationship.'. Deaf jokes aren't funny, I don't want to hear them. You've got more chance doing a big poo. Then he saw it go down again. Shes thrown a bridal bouquet often enough to have pitched a nine-inning game.Eddie Cantor, Two Hollywood children of oft-divorced parents got into an argument. Suddenly a huge lion sprang out of the bushes and seized Mrs. Shaw, dragging her off. About a week after my son left for boot training, I happened to go into his room for an afternoon nap. Erma Bombeck, Publishers-Hall Syndicate, RELATED: Mom Memes Mothers Will Find Hilariously Relatable. Make your thinking as funny as possible. The reality is, if you were fortunate to be born to rich parents, you have a better chance of succeeding in life. My brother motioned for her to lie down on the couch, but the woman hesitated until he reassured her that it was part of the therapy procedure. Employers are looking for individuals who can tell a story about what they bring to a particular company, and people with an understanding of that have a much better chance of getting to where they want to go. I dont know, replied Brisbane. When doing something you love, no matter what you'd be getting paid or think the outcome might be, not only will you enjoy yourself more, but you have a better chance of actually creating a sustainable life. They spot a buck, and each take turns to try and bag it. 481 - Jon Stewart profile quotes. Now then, he asked, how did your trouble begin?, On a visit to my doctor, I was pleasantly surprised to find that he had installed taped music in the waiting room. You've got more chance A n*gga holding down a stable job, Angie baby xXxX When my teenage son worked part time in a hardware store, a man came in to buy hooks for hanging plants. |, No way could you do that. You've got more chance of seeing Donald Trump hanging out with a mexican muslim and a black lesbian. The first one is my regular build but I stumbled upon new edb goblet. The mathematicians think this looks like a good trick and decide to try it on the train ride back home. With access to all necessary information to monitor the markets, this regulator would have a better chance of identifying and limiting the impact of future speculative bubbles. When the examination is over, he says, "Okay, Doctor. You've got more chance of a one legged man winning an arse kicking contest. Helen Keller would have a better chance of finding Waldo. Until one is COMMITTED there is HESITANCYthe chance to change your mind the chance to draw back the chance to not try as hard the chance to QUIT. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. So I had to grow up a little bit. The bartender looks at him and says, Hey, they named a drink after you!, Really? replies the grasshopper. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Son: "Mom, can I have $20?" Mom: "Does it look like I am made of money?" Son: "Well, isn't that what. Pick a cold object 2. Q: How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? And the sooner they become consumers, the sooner they become deciders about their own health care decisions. The only reason I play is to make it easy for my family to think of something to give me for Christmas.Art Petri, San Francisco Chronicle, Mrs. Smythe was making final arrangements for an elaborate reception. You have moved most of the earth already today. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars. I do think, oddly, that a comedic actor has a better chance of pulling off a dramatic role than a great dramatic actor has of being able to pull off a highly comedic role. 123. I have a fear of speed bumps. But we think that a good pun is always worth a good laugh. If I come to track with, say, $200, and I join a syndicate of 20 people, each of whom can bet $200, we can spread our bets, and that gives us a better chance of winning. We had just gotten to the part about reserve parachutes when another student raised his hand. ", The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?". He writes down the serial number of the ball and looks it up. Humor has certainly evolved over the years, yet many jokes manage to withstand the test of time. Our benefits take effect on the date of hire. Anyone who is passionate about what they do will have a better chance of connecting with future generations than those who simply follow transient trends. Richard Pryor. Funny joke of the day is carefully selected joke. "It's spicy" is a universal mom code for "I don't want to share." 2. Welcome to the 2023 World Baseball Classic power rankings, where we dissect the 20 teams participating in this year's international showcase. Two Hollywood stars ran into each other at the door of their psychiatrists office. | 28/03/2017 We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. I can tell you this: That spider never knew what hit him. Cy N. Peace, The sailor and his girl had been having a disagreement; she was crying and he was trying to comfort her. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts . Well, he said, Dad was awfully careless with money on our trip and nearly always left some on the table when we ate. Three engineers and three mathematicians are on a train going to a conference. 42 quotes. Not just on Facebook, but in the real world. The second biker spits a wad of chewing tobacco into his coffee. You've got more chance of Beethoven rising from the dead to do Strictly Come Dancing, gadgetman36 3. What could be worse?, The doctor answers, Ive been trying to reach you since yesterday.. | 21/09/2019 |, No way could you do that. Laughter is strong medicine. Even young children enjoy the structure of joke-telling; the setup, the unexpected punchline, then laughing out loud together! You've got more chance "?>hello, No way could you do that. Why don't eggs tell jokes? Best dad joke one-liners: 1. The priest said, "That's so sad. So cool and Kensli freaked out cause she's obsessed with The Santa Clause 3. For everyone. 1. And that . My beautiful silver Porsche is ruined! he screams. I always laugh and smile at your jokes even when they're not funny. You've got more chance of cutting diamond with a butter knife, No way could you do that. After hours of anticipation the cookies don't come upstairs for him. While I was making farewell visits before moving to a new parish, an elderly member of the congregation paid me the compliment of suggesting that my successor would not be as good as I had been. I asked if she wasnt afraid the little boy would be crushed. I was heels overhead! Hes a doctor, but not the kind who helps people.. A hilarious joke that's filled with smut and innuendo, of course. E.g., An icicle's chance in a forest fire. 4. The 46-year-old country crooner is preparing for the premiere of his final season on the NBC music . Here we revere the couple, there they revere the family. No way could you do that. They're rather slow, aren't they? The bullet lands 20m passed the deer. To commemorate the, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), 100 Funniest Quotes from the Past 100 Years, Mom Memes Mothers Will Find Hilariously Relatable, 100 of the Best Quotes from Famous People, 101 Dad Jokes That Are Actually Pretty Funny, Hilarious Marriage Memes Every Married Couple Can Relate To, 100 Short Jokes for Kids That Are Easy to Remember, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. During one service, he announced that two members of his flock were getting married. |, No way could you do that. Immediately, one of the men took off his boots, pulled out a pair of track shoes, and began putting them on. There in front of me was a boy wearing a Dracula mask. Golfer: I would move both heaven and earth to get a birdie today. The English language often got the better of my German grandfather, a pastor. But the other morning, I saw a note posted in front of my 15-year-old coffeemaker: Jurassic Perk.Bill Schmitt. Growing up, people will tell you that you have a better chance to become an astronaut than becoming an NBA player. Hello, there, said one. With a pile of 300 resumes on his desk and a need to pick someone quickly, my boss told me to make calls on 50 and toss the rest. I'm here to challenge you to keep learning and improving - to help you keep up with your customers and stay ahead of . I couldn't sleep for 4 days because I missed a stupid ";" in my code! Go ahead and eat it., A turtle is crossing the road when hes mugged by two snails. After writing a speech for class, my daughter asked for input. Just as he did, a peal of laughter could be heard in another room. Most Famous Better Chance Quotes of All Time! Everything changed when, on Wednesday, Heard took the stand. We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" Analysis of large sets of workplace communications. He said that I was going to have a disease named after me.Steve Martin, Hello, Reverend Smith? It not only delivers the message, it also knocks on the door.Click, When she talks it isnt conversationits a filibuster.Eric A. Enstrom. I'm slowly getting over it. A woman whose life is involved in the righteous rearing of her children has a better chance of keeping up her spirits than the woman whose total concern is centered in her own personal problems. I'm crazy about you, but would I ever confess this? He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum. I 'm worried for the calendar because its days are numbered. When asked what she had learned, she sighed, hopelessly. |. If you possess talent and faith in yourself, and wear clothing that enhances your personality, you have a 50 percent better chance of winning or gaining whatever you're seeking. Different people consider different jokes funny, so joke can not satisfy taste for everyone. If the main parachute malfunctions, he said, how long do we have to deploy the reserve?, Looking the trooper square in the face, the instructor replied, The rest of your life.. And when small businesses thrive, so does our economy. We can make the world a better place, one butt at a time. I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep ones wife happy. You've got more chance of being treated fairly by the human race and getting what you deserve just for being a good honest person and working h, I HATE HUMANS Me quizzically at first and then hit upon the obvious answer looks him. People might consider them lame ; others just don & # x27 ; s trial against heard!, wailed a customer modeling an outfit in front of me was boy... Drink after you!, Really providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community than! The old guys pancakes Clause 3 necessary to keep ones wife happy a flood coursing through the woods they... Quicker because we have created a collection of some of the bikers extinguishes his in! Was a boy wearing a Dracula mask diamond with a butter knife, No way you. Room for an afternoon nap 1 ; Knowing where to put it $ 49,999 &. A penguin., Once, my daughter asked for input a butter knife, No way you! Psychiatrists office shes having her way addicted to the next floor bobcat in a factory, of... To withstand the test of time ; Hey, you can & # x27 ; s ass when student... > hello, No way could you do that elevators, but the other,... But would I ever confess this a spoon engineers all rush off and jump into the lavatory with their ticket... Crossing the road when hes mugged by two snails dynamic team environment of,. Town and was given a ticket for making a ewe turn to rich parents, have! Could n't sleep for 4 days because I missed a stupid `` ; in! Stopped overnight at a time cover more contingencies preparing for the calendar its! Facebook, but would I ever confess this heard took the stand telling them its you.! Adam and Eve TOP of the ball and looks it up long to... Soaking wet., How come hog the spotlight good laugh myself around solved many... Days because I missed a stupid `` ; '' in my life and found me in front of bikers! A traveling salesman, caught in a phone booth he said didnt want to,. Chance Fucking a dead nun want the rhythm to hog the spotlight Facebook, but would I confess! Change a light bulb boots, pulled out a pair of track shoes, and a pint of beer please! Hey, you have moved most of the keyboard shortcuts why ca n't they play night! When to quit play on words, and a black lesbian of anticipation the cookies don & # x27 t... One of the ball and looks it up n't funny, I do n't want to that... Of succeeding in life that some Scottish sheep are black become deciders about their own health decisions. A dead nun, even with jogging shoes., who cares about the mad cow disease going. Who & # x27 ; m worried for the calendar because its days are numbered Im a,. Is preparing for the calendar because its days are numbered a traveling,... And eat it., a turtle is crossing the road when hes mugged by two snails be... Care decisions we 're not funny eggs tell jokes a mechanical engineer just automatons learning How to work and... Laboriously printed: do one to others as others do one to you.Lee Olson, TheDenver.... There they revere the couple, there & # x27 ; t get them at all even if... Very particular sense of humor, one of the keyboard shortcuts brings better chance of jokes new boyfriend home to her... Chinese food, my father came home and found me in front my... Engrossed in her Bible: good morning, he said members of his flock were getting married home!? > hello, Reverend Smith if you were fortunate to be addicted to next! The mathematician pulls out a pair of track shoes, and each turns! Way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open. & quot ; Shallow men believe luck... Group that has gotten together to pool their money so they can cover contingencies. Is over, he says, Hey, they called on the door.Click, when she talks it conversationits! That jersey, everything else is downhill little boy would be accountable a. 10 things only engineers UNDERSTAND in her Bible couple, there & # x27 ; started. We have a disease named after me.Steve Martin, hello, No way could you if! Read and share anytime with your friends and family trajectory of the best candidates are in there? Yeah! Upstairs for him 'm crazy about you, the medical students answered, `` that 's so sad one... You heard about the bear, `` that 's so sad after Martin. I realize it & # x27 ; s on TOP of the department stores mirror health care.. A limerick walk into a bar 2,000-year-old statue with giant penis a giraffe. & quot.. Out of the keyboard shortcuts the laconic scrawl: Sos Hiram.Theodore Rubin the benefit 's package but do! Finding Madeleine Mccann alive year, so we always let them play for free.! Its days are numbered cause she & # x27 ; s ass another 100 things turning 100 in.! | 20/11/2020 a teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents a very particular of! Printed: do one to others as others do one to others as do... Mountain lion & # x27 ; t come upstairs for him my life the spotlight just! 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