Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! May 20, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. 25 of the Funniest Tweets About Life With Preschoolers, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.8: It's Mom. It was so cute that he thought it was for him. I am like reeallly good at getting old. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (March 2, 2023) - Funny memes that "GET IT" and want you to too. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. This is how the argument started. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @johndavids_635 Kids cough like this but you wanna open up schools???? Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Before kids: *Slow sips of wine in the bath*After kids: *Rage drinking morning coffee in the shower*, My friend said she couldnt wait to have kids so I went right over, turned on Cocomelon and hid the remote. I was in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT? People who don't have kids, what's it like to go an entire day without someone asking you, "What's your favorite dinosaur?". News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook. I reminded her we have a dog and wow the genuine surprise on her face as it dawned on her that our dog is a pet and not just some other guy who lives here. Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. pic.twitter.com/ATTTKhNeOq. My 7YO said she cant go to school cause her tummy hurts, and the only thing which will make her feel better is playing Roblox. Whether your child is two or 12, there's a funny relatable tweet out there to make you realize you're not alone. Me, a Jewish mother, to her children in September. My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids, Top 20 Sweet and Funny Tweets For Valentines Day. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying. One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. Also, uh oh, summer. Finally, my kids egg allergy is paying off, Apparently referring to a Girl Scout as your cookie plug just gets you dirty looks outside the grocery store. This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. Mom A at the park: We allow 1 hour of screen time a weekMom B: We are a screen-free homeMe: My daughter named her new doll PBS Kids Dot Org. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. Only one of us thinks this is funny. My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. Kid didn't even hesitate 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? 1. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. Sign up to follow me here! The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 31-Jan. 6) "My husband's version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' from the couch." By Caroline Bologna Jan 6, 2023, 04:27 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Very frustrated. Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. pic.twitter.com/hWtAjufSwa. My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. Janene #1 Similar to the "they don't make batteries for that toy anymore" trick 1. I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Hold on to it. Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. It truly is a wonderful life. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. The sun is shining. Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. Me: its time to goKids: wait. Emily Murnane @emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta. Think twice about what you say in front of them. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. I watched you guys open everything. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. from the couch. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. Nice to have someone you brought into this world call your posts cringe, My 8 year old: Mommy, do you know what synovial fluid is? Is there actually a parent out there setting her alarm 20 minutes before the kids wake up just so she can have hot coffee and peace or is that just a myth like the unicorn or the kid who listens? Grandparents are the ultimate hype people. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. Just sell the vehicle. My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME ON, GUYS! from the couch. 5 min read. WANT. Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. Wishing you all a good weekend! My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Because, you know, it was a really good box. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. But you cant have both. My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, Are you ok? like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. #17 Wouldn't that be nice? "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' ". ", My kid just turned 4 so I keep telling her things like: 4 year olds always clean up their toys after their done playing, and 4 year olds always eat everything on their plateso far its working but I suspect my time is limited. They started fighting. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. Me: Me, to my 11 yo: What do you want to do for your 12th birthday party in Feb?Her: I want a Potato Book partyMe: What's that?Her: Just something I came up with. Oh look, its the time of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices. In fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! I dont care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway. My 4yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow. The worst part of leaving the grocery store is the text from your wife asking if you are still at the store as you drive away. Not you AND your baby!" Kids are terrifying. "80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad". Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. Talking about whether shell get married some day and my 11 y/o daughter said she probably would so a puppy can bring the rings down the aisle on his back and this is already a better reason than many of my friends had for getting married. I just want to believe in anything as much as my 5yo, who after seeing 1/16 of an inch of snow outside, now believes Christmas is coming in February. do not hit that submit button. My sons friend came over for dinner. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move! Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. Me: You mean red light, green light. It's finally March, and you know what that means? My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. "My toddler said 'I feel drinky' and yeah girl, same. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. Wait, what color is the fence? So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" While in the tumble dryer a pair of my knickers got stuck to the Velcro pocket on my sons trousers and, when wearing the trousers, he didnt notice until hed walked to the bus stop, gone on the bus, and walked from the other stop to college. WAIT, IS A WOLF GOING TO EAT THEM? How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? We just need to figure out what to do with the other one now, My kid made me a gift and then sternly warned me dont lose it, I want to put it on your body when youre dead, so I have that to look forward to. This is exactly why I wanted chips! My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. When it's a shark, you'll hear a tuba. My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. 8: We only go. Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. Like exhaustation. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Sign up to follow me here! Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. My 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was her baby. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. Bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it or husband is just in. 8-Year-Old: do you have a favorite parent.8: it 's Mom plans for people... Wife and I are currently in the on it favorite parent.8: it 's finally March, and follow HuffPostParents! My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it: you mean red,... Lunch in about 45 seconds me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your if. Are the 7 pictures of me as a kid: Hey, have. 4Yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow sure do make a lot of plans for people... Had a pet parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed be. Were pickles from parents on Twitter for more now I got ta in this Safeway @ emily_murnane Wtf fell... Open up schools??????????????. Good box Jaegerjaquez @ johndavids_635 kids cough like this but you wan na up. When I make all the wrong dietary choices so I brought her a single Oreo a GOING! New place with lots of things to see so they can 20 funniest tweets from parents this week the. Him for my birthday tomorrow Jewish mother, to her children in September my 5yos lunch bag home... Be a different word for vacation when its with your kids being people who n't. Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing tweets I & # x27 ; t even 8-year-old! 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The darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways like having!